忘却 (Forgotten)

The one I love isn’t here anymore
In Heaven or Hell
They’re in places no one can see
Memories of when I was three
Good memories of 23 years ago
I can’t remember them, but
I can’t forget
Even the dirty things appear beautiful
A nostalgic voice, leaving me to go to someone else
I’ll toss the memories into the rubbish bin
Pour gasoline on them and burn them
then change into my mourning dress until someone comes to greet me
I’m alive just to die
That’s why we’re born, that alone
If I could go to the grave, I’d be happy
Sleeping in the coffin, covered in tattoos, with these cold hands
Everyone’s crying, and that’s the worst
That’s the worst
That’s the worst
We should just forget it all
Clinging to the past is so uncool
I don’t need it anymore

Hot lips, cold hands
Let me forget the words
Hard liquor and scary dreams
Let me dance with my eyes shut

The path leading to a bright place
may not necessarily be bright
Where’s the exit? It’s nothing but entrances
I ran through a deep forest

Even if feet are torn off
Even with an artificial leg
for all time
run, Melos!
I’m closing my mouth, but
I open my eyes
and see hard liquor and vomit
I’ll never go back
If I could, once more
I’d like to spit out the saliva I drank
Men too can double-deal
I love you, that’s why I hate you
If I could see you, I’d like to
Happy but in pain
We’re so greedy
Asking for too much again
Empty requests

Hot lips, cold hands
Let me forget the words
Tight jeans, gentle eyes
Call me by that nostalgic name

In this vast world there’s an unknown stage
I hate my bag, it just gets in the way
Hard liquor and scary dreams
When I someday die, empty-handed would be best

Translation by “Joseph


A Head Full Of Dreams – Gothenburg, 2017


I’m gonna write this in English as it would take too much time to write in both Swedish and English.

Earlier this summer, my brother, his fiancée, mom and I traveled across the country to Gothenburg to see Coldplay on their “A Head Full Of Dreams” tour. If you have read my blog, you may remember that my bro and I saw Coldplay on the same tour last summer, but in our hometown Stockholm.

We lived in a central apartment and no, it doesn’t have anything to do with the concert itself, but it was too gorgeous to not mention. Just look and these pictures! Mom found it on AirBnB.

[insert pictures]

Three of us had GA/standing tickets for one of the shows (25 June (mom had a seating ticket)) and we got ready in the morning and left the apartment for start queuing outside the arena for getting a good spot. Unfortunately, it started raining as soon as we stepped outside and weren’t perfectly prepared for it. I had my rain jacket, but my brother and his fiancée tried to stay dry with ponchos… that broke. We used one to sit on the ground instead. The rain stopped eventually but only to come back every now and then through the whole day. It was insane! 10 degrees Celsius with strong winds switching from rain to moments of sunshine… perfect weather for catching a cold.

The merchandise and t-shirts were more or less the same as last year if I remember correctly, and I got myself a rainbow flower shirt that I wanted last year.

Everyone complained about the weather (thankfully we bought some blankets and towels to keep us warm… it really was a nightmare). And it didn’t stop after getting inside the arena either.

Inside, after founding some great spots to stay at, we befriended some other fans and two Danish women. The women had VIP tickets and gotten some special merchandise – I remember their coloring book and pencils the best. Apparently there were no VIP standing area, which other tour stops had according to the women, and made them a bit sad. Why paying more money if you aren’t going to stay closer to the band than the rest?

And the horrible weather continued.  One of the pre-acts had to cancel (I swear that I saw rain POUR onto their keyboard from the plastic tent above them!), a girl fainted, Sarah (my brother’s fiancée) was shivering, my brother was shivering, nobody was warm and the mood was lousy. As the thought that was in everybody’s mind was: will Coldplay even be able to play in this weather?

Luckily, the rain stopped a bit when they finally entered the stage and everyone, and I mean everyone, seemed to be filled with energy again. Nobody cared about how awful the weather had been anymore… and a rainbow appeared to match Coldplay’s colorful stage!

Since I had seen the same show last year, I wasn’t that enthusiastic this time (and I blame the weather on ruining my mood too) and couldn’t help but feeling like it was better then. Perhaps because it was my first time seeing them live and I was more excited. However, I did cry again, not when Clocks played, but when Everglow was performed. Martin’s words about how this song is for everyone who hasn’t made it and passed away and the actual lyrics made me think of my dad. So, I shed some tears and tried to not think about it for the next songs.

[insert YouTube fan cam of everglow]

As thanks for being one of the best audiences they’ve had (standing in pouring rain and cold temperatures all day long), Coldplay promised to perform the best show they’ve ever had and also made us a song! It was really funny and not so bad at all, and I think everyone in Ullevi arena appreciated it.

[insert fan cam of song for fans]

However, after the confetti bombs and huge balloons, the show came to an end and we were relieved to go back to our rented apartment, warm ourselves up and then go to sleep. We slept so well that night… unfortunately we had to wake up early for the train back home to Stockholm. But we slept on the train and also in our own beds at home. ❤️

White Xylobands glowing in the night. Me holding me brother’s hand.

Weekend music wheel!

Jag kanske ska göra det här återkommande för varje veckoslut? 🙂 Problemet är oftast att jag mer eller mindre lyssnar på samma musik vecka in och vecka ut, haha… men jag kan ju försöka visa vilken musik jag har lyssnat på under veckan eller om jag hittar nåt nytt! Jag älskar musik. Jag går aldrig ut och festar men jag drömmer oftare om att gå på konserter och uppleva min favoritmusik på hög volym! Synd att det inte blir så ofta bara.

Maybe I should make this for every weekend? 🙂 The problem is just that I more or less only listen to the same music week after week, haha… but I can try to  share the music I’ve listened to during the week or if I’ve found something new! I love music. I never go out and party but I daydream more often about going to concerts and experience my favourite music on high volume! Too bad that doesn’t happen too often.

U2 – an old but good great one. If it weren’t for dad, I bet my family wouldn’t have liked them as much as we do today. ♥ Seeing U2 live is an experience on a whole different level and I’m fortunate to have seen them a few times. The Irish rock legend has set out on a tour to celebrate 30 years since their successful album “The Joshua Tree” and yes, I’m jealous of everyone who are going to see them. So, since I miss being a part of their audience, I’ve been playing that album over and over again. Let me share a classic (the energy on the concerts when this comes on… people go crazy! ♥) and perhaps a song that less people have heard on the radio.

Drake – thanks to my big brother having his latest album on repeat all the time (and I mean ALL the time – even in the shower!) last month, his songs are stuck on my mind too. Here’s one to get stuck in your mind too. No need to thank me.

Loreen – being the Eurovision week this week, I’m still so sad and angry that Loreen didn’t make it to the Swedish outtakes final and I keep her contest entry song on repeat. Her controlled vocals, her way to express the fury in the lyrics by singing more powerfully than ever and the base hook on repeat makes this song a winner in my heart. It also reflects how many refugees may feel today all around the world.

Monica Zetterlund – another oldie and this song is by a Swedish jazz singer. After the terror attack in central Stockholm, I can’t help but listening to this wonderful song about my hometown. I still haven’t written my thoughts from that day, but I will… someday. If your not familiar to Swedish, please do give this a try! I bet it’ll sound sweet and nice in your ears too.

Lana Del Rey – let me finish with my queen Lana Del Rey and The Weeknd. Lana is coming with a new album in less than two weeks (!!) and this is the title track, a sweet song with (finally!) a boyfriend that seems nice.

No internet


Jag sitter kvar i skolan numera och pluggar eller gör annat – jag har ju flyttat in i mitt korridorrum och där har jag ingen internetuppkoppling! Och det är ingen idé att fixa något heller, jag ska ju bara stanna en månad. Så då är det bättre att snylta på universitetets internet istället. 😉 Som tur är så ligger det ett campus riktigt nära där jag bor, så jag kan ta en kort promenad dit om jag skulle vilja göra något på kvällarna eller på lediga dagar när jag inte orkar ta mig till min campusbyggnad.

Så idag har jag känt mig lite duktig ändå. Jag har gått igenom fyra seminarieuppgifter, skrivit klart en A4 med text till ett grupparbete om njurarna, mejlat den nya kursadministratören om att de borde skriva in i datasystemet att jag är godkänd på neurobiologitentan efter överklagan samt mejlat mitt sommarjobb på Restaurang Fossilen att jag inte kan hjälpa dem de två kommande somrarna (eftersom då ska jag ju ha SOFOSKO, sommarforskningsskolan! ♥) – så en del har blivit avbockat i alla fall! Nu tänker jag slappna av med lite tv-serier innan det är dags att cykla till rummet och laga middag + matlåda. 😉

Let’s enjoy this new song by Lana Del Rey feat. The Weeknd for Lana’s upcoming album with the same name – Lust For Life!


I’m staying at school these days and studying here and do other stuff – I have moved into my dorm room like I’ve mentioned before and I have no internet connection there! And there’s no idea to try to get one either, I’m only staying for a month after all. So it’s much better to use the university’s internet instead. 😉 Luckily for me, there’s a campus reeaaallly close to where I live, so I could just take a short walk there if I’d like to do someting in the evenings or on days with nothing on the schedule and I don’t feel like taking the bike to my campus building.

So I feel a little good today. I’ve worked through four seminar questions, written an A4 paper of text for a group project about the kidneys, e-mailed the new course administrator that they should write into the system that I’ve passed the neurobiology exam after appeal, and also written an e-mail to my summer job at the restaurant that I won’t be able to help them the two upcoming summers (because I’m going to SOFOSKO, the summer research school! ♥) – so at least a few things are off the to-do list now! Now I’m going to relax with some TV shows before it’s time to ride the bike back to my room and make som dinner + lunchbox for tomorrow. 😉

The Blackest Day

En instrumental-version av Lana Del Reys “The Blackest Day” passar min sinnesstämning just nu.

Pappa gick bort för snart två veckor sedan, men det känns fortfarande surrealistiskt. Det känns mest som att han fortfarande ligger på sjukhuset och ska bara bli bättre innan han kan få komma hem igen. Men så är det ju förstås inte, speciellt inte när det har satts ett datum för begravningen och man har letat efter en svart klänning att ha på sig.

Jag har liksom tappat lusten för att plugga. Jag vill helst bara vara hemma och umgås med familjen och bara strunta i att kämpa med att förstå saker. Att göra grupparbeten och lära mig att se skillnad på celler. Jag vill bara ta de lugnt ett tag, men det går ju inte när man pluggar och måste hänga med i kurserna för att inte halka efter.

Och rummet i det fina gula huset jag skrev om för en månad sedan visade sig inte bli mitt ändå. Hyresvärden drog sig ut och jag måste hitta någonstans nytt att flytta in på. Som tur var så hörde brorsans fästmö sig runt på jobbet och nu verkar det som att det löser sig trots allt. Jag skulle egentligen ha flyttat denna helg, och min nuvarande rumskompis ska flytta i slutet av april, så det är lite bråttom. Jag kan flytta in i slutet av maj hos det nya stället, och under tiden… funderar jag på att bo i ett korridorrum en månad. På korttidskontrakt, för dem är det inga som vill ha.

Fick dessutom tillbaka tentaresultatet för metabolism som jag skrev dagen innan pappa gick bort – det gick inte alls bra, haha, kanske inte så konstigt heller. Det var för mycket som pågick just då. Så nu hoppas jag att omtentan i juni kommer gå bättre.

Hur som helst. Jag vet inte hur mycket jag kommer skriva de kommande veckorna, humöret går lite upp och ned och just nu är det definitivt nere som ni märker. Just nu skriver jag mest för att slippa plugga (något som jag verkligen behöver göra egentligen) och kanske för att minnas tillbaka senare.

Men nu tror jag att jag måste fortsätta att jobba på med grupparbetet. Vi ska berätta om njurarna undern den här kursen som är den största för kandidatprogrammet – hela 16,5 hp. Det är alltså större än vårt examensarbete som vi kommer göra om ett år… så jag hoppas att tentan kommer gå bra så jag bara behöver skriva två omtentor i sommar.

Sorry I don’t feel like translating this…


For some reason, I’m often in the mood to listen to electronic music just before I go to sleep which makes it even harder to go to bed..! Because the music is so energetic and alive! Ugh! Anyways, I really like Jolin Tsai’s “Play” and just found out that Alesso had made a remix of it and I’m so obessed with it!! Seriously, it is soooo good so I decided to share it with you all!

Here’s tonight’s playlist before bed – Jolin Tsai and Alesso with “Play” and CAPSULE’s “Dreamin’ Boy”, an electronic trap song and an EDM trance house song!

(Dreamin’ Boy starts at 0:56 ♥)

Thank you 2NE1 

2NE1 was the first k-pop girl group I truly loved and the first band I loved. I loved their uniqueness, their lyrics filled with girl power, their bold experiments with different music genre and their fierce live performances. Today was it officially announced that 2NE1 is no more and a part of k-pop history.

Thank you 2NE1 for bringing joy to me and for letting me find people across the globe with the exact same interests as me – 2NE1. I’m proud to have been a Blackjack.

♠️♦️♣️♥️ #ThankYou2NE1 ♠️♦️♣️♥️



Album cover of Utada Hikaru’s “Fantôme”.

One of my favourite Japanese artists, Hikaru Utada, has finally released her new album “Fantôme” a few weeks ago, and now I’ve finally listened to it a few times! Her latest Japanese album, “Heart Station”, was released 8 years ago and her latest American album, “This Is The One”, was released 7 years ago. So many fans, including me, have been waiting for a very long time for a new album! And this bilingual (maybe even multilingual?) lady hasn’t disappointed us!

I’m not going to review every single song in this review, not like I did for Kaleo’s “A/B”, but more of the overall impression I got from listening to the album.

“Fantôme”‘s sound is less pop-heavy as “Heart Station” and more stripped-down. Two examples of this is “真夏の通り雨” (“Manatsu no Tooriame” or “Midsummer Showers“) where only a piano and strings can be heard in the beginning, and “人魚” (“Ningyo” or “Mermaid“) where only a harp and drums can be heard along with Utada’s beautiful voice and back-up voices. Even of the lack of instruments, I can already say it’ll be one of my favourite songs by her – the way she softly sings feels like a blessing. And like many might have noticed by now, “Fantôme” surely sounds much different compared with her older works. I don’t ever think there’s been a rap/r’n’b song included in her Japanese albums before? We’ve heard some r’n’b beats in her American albums, but this time, in “忘却 feat. Kohh” (“Boukyaku” or “Forgotten“) it’s mostly not Utada herself who sings (or raps). I think this song is brilliant, she’s not the focus of the song, but Kohh and Utada complement each other perfectly. The dreamy beginning is pure perfection too. I wish I could understand the lyrics though, I bet it’s powerful.

However, being one of Japan’s biggest pop artists, I don’t think this album would have been complete without a pop song either. Funky tunes can be heard in “荒野の狼” (“Kouya no Ookami” or “Wolf in the Wilderness“) (though it’s still very stripped down in my opinion) and “ともだち feat. 小袋成彬” (“Tomodachi” or “Friend“) might be the album’s only song with a more or less pop sound with electronic sounding drums and guitar and a catchy, quick-paced chorus.

“Fantôme” might not be my favourite album by her at the moment, even though all the songs are good. I can’t really say why, but maybe I just prefer her pop songs like “Travelling” more. But I can already say that I love the last song of the album, “桜流し” (“Sakura Nagashi” or “Flowing Cherry Blossoms“), since I heard it for the first time two years ago and I’m so happy it’s included in the album.

So, my favourite songs are: 俺の彼女 (“Ore no Kanojo” or “My Girlfriend“) (because who doesn’t love Utada’s French? ♥), 花束を君に (“Hanabata wo Kimi Ni” or “A bouquet of flowers for you“), “人魚” (“Ningyo” or “Mermaid“),  “真夏の通り雨” (“Manatsu no Tooriame” or “Midsummer Showers“), “忘却 feat. Kohh” (“Boukyaku” or “Forgotten“) and 桜流し (“Sakura Nagashi“).

More album reviews:

Kaleo – A/B

Lana Del Rey – Honeymoon

A Head Full of Dreams Tour

Let me write this is English because it’s sunny outside and I wanna be out (and I guess I’m too lazy to write everything in both Swedish and English lol). As you might know already, I went to Coldplay’s concert in Stockholm together with one of my big brothers a few days ago. Two words to describe the concert: ‘magical’ and ‘happiness’. Because that was what it was, honestly. It was  a m a z i n g  !!

Big bro and I woke up early to get good spots (since we had standing tickets) and finally arrived at Friends Arena after a delayed trip (we had looked up the wrong time for when the bus would go, so we had to walk pretty far since it only went once an hour on Sunday mornings). We got number 19 and 20 in the queue, which sounded great! And there were no call to check if everyone still are in the queue, which ment that we could walk quite freely around the arena to check out the tour merchandise and inside Mall of Scandinavia to check out the summer sales and buy some food for ourselves. Sweet!


Pretty much all the photos in this blog post was taken by my brother – to see more pics from the concert, click here to go to his Flickr page.

Deciding which t-shirt we wanted was difficult (since almost all of them had more or less the same print), but I decided for a female t-shirt with lyrics from “Adventure of a Lifetime” written in a heart shape and big bro got himself one with the band printed on it (I also thought about getting it). I thought that mine’s a bit more casual than the other tour t-shirts with tour dates printed on the back and so – I could wear this one as a normal t-shirt (if no one comes up close and reads the lyrics in the heart or sees the back). ♥

So waiting for at least 9 hours before we would be allowed inside the arena wasn’t that difficult. We saw the tour buses which contained parts of the stage I think! When everyone were let inside the arena, we were given Xylobands (and a pin that said “LOVE”) that everyone would wear during the concert. They would lit up in different colors and twinkle together – the arena looked magical when they did! I got a red Xyloband. However, when we would be let in, it was chaos. No security guard really knew what they were doing (giving instructions only in Swedish and telling that “if you don’t know Swedish, ask someone to translate this for you”… in Swedish! Ugh. Also “Everyone with a Golden Circle ticket, please go to the right” while she points to the left… without a megaphone, she wasn’t heard. Luckily we had ordinary standing tickets and just could continue forward) and we were standing next to people with queue number 192 (!). It felt pretty badly organized by both fans who made the queue and the security staff when we, who had number 19 and 20, are next to number 192… what happened? Ok, Friends Arena is a large stadium, but still.

And my problems didn’t stop there. I barely saw anything the whole night even though I was standing as close as one could get to the stage (with an ordinary standing ticket that is)! There were volunteers for Global Citizen asking people to sign their names for clean water before we were allowed inside the arena, and they apparently were let in before the rest of us. Which was unfair in my opinion. I had bought a ticket months in advance, I had stood in line since 8 in the morning and I should have been standing right behind the security fence – not the volunteers who blocked my view. Also, this girl next to me turned her head all the time so I got her hair in my face all. the. time. Sigh. I took my revenge by jumping like crazy when the concert began and being an annoying neighbour, lol.

Ok, enough whining I suppose. The concert was, like I said, truly amazing. It was so much fun, I eventually stopped caring if I saw anything or not. Alessia Cara and Birdie performed before Coldplay, and I think it was a bit too much actually. I really like Alessia’s “Here” and was excited to hear it live, and Birdie was amazing as well, but to stand up 4 hours before we would get to see Coldplay… was a bit too much I think. One act before Coldplay would have been enough. My feet began to hurt, I just had to sit down when Birdie had finished her act and I didn’t care if there were no space to sit on. People would have to make space for me and, surprisingly to me, they actually did. Thank god!


Photos from Coldplay’s official Twitter account.

The audience cheered on Coldplay to come and start the show, and when they did, I swear, everyone in the arena went crazy. EVERYONE WERE SO PUMPED! I was crazy. The crowd were crazy. I haven’t been to many concerts in my life, but this audience have been the best one I’ve ever experienced. We sang during every song! No exeption! We cheered all the time and clapped our hands and everyone had smiles on their faces during the whole time. I actually cried when “Clocks” was played – I love it so much and have listened to it so many times, I guess it just hit me at that time how lucky I was to see Coldplay live and experience this. I was so happy, haha. ♥ There were fireworks, butterfly, square and star shaped confetti falling from the roof, laser beams, balloons for us with the standing tickets to play with and hit at… Coldplay really made sure everyone had a great time and spoiled us. ♥ And, like the name of their album and the tour, everything felt colorful, magical and dreamy. There were so many colors which made me so happy, I love colors. It truly felt like being in a dream, a dream that was too good to be true. But it was true!

To sum things up, it was a concert I won’t forget as long as I live. It was a great mix of old and new songs. Thank you, Coldplay, for bringing me on this dream with you. ♥

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More concert reviews: U2 – iNNOCENCE + eXPERIENCE Tour

More time, please

Yes, I do have things to write, but so little time! Here’s some songs to entertain you. >___<

Coldplay – Hymn For The Weekend

Because I’ll see them live on Sunday!! So excited!

Lana Del Rey – Wayamaya

Queen of Oceans and Seas composes the perfect, slow summer love song ever made.

Joe Hisaishi – Summer

Always makes me think of summetime ♥

Simon & Garfunkel – Cecilia

Love the ending! “Jubilation”!